The ultimate Snuggie SMACKDOWN!

Okay - I have to admit that I didn't know about the Snuggie for a long while... apparently I just don't watch enough late night TV - but the first time KP said that we should get a Snuggie for Michelle Obama - I was a little worried that she'd have the virtual Secret Service coming down on ropes from the glass ceiling of her blog.  Why a glass ceiling - well, because it's ALWAYS cooler looking when they break through glass!  Seriously - the word "snuggie" was akin to the words "melvin" or "wedgie" - and I'm envisioning KP wearing her big blue blanket that she's always photographed in yanking Michelle's designer undies up to her sleeveless arms.

And then I got hit with a little insomnia and saw the infamous infomercial - OH, the snuggie IS the big blue blanket!

(Yep, she even wore it to Vegas)

Well, I have one word for you - COZY!

(I just HAD to be reading twilight for the photo...)

Seriously - a few years back my friend gave me the best Christmas present EVER... the Cozy...

Okay, so technically it's known as The Softie - and available at Sears only during the Christmas shopping Blitz.  Frankly I didn't look at the box when I got mine and gave it my own name which is better anyway :)

So... which is the better blanket?  Let's do a little comparison SHALL WE?

Warmth?

T - seriously guys, there are days when this blanket provides TOO MUCH warmth - I'll start sweating underneath it...  of course, because it's super versatile that means I can just flip it over so that the fuzzy side is out and the microfiber side is next to me... now it's just perfect...  Does YOUR blanket have a microfiber side KP?

KP - "I'm pretty sure the Snuggie creates a sauna effect, and it will help me lose even more weight!"

T - I take that as a no on the microfiber side...

Washability?

T - this thing is years old...  and still going strong.  The tag is looking a little ragged - but the rest is still beautiful and, well... cozy!

KP - "My Snuggie got around like the town slut.  Everyone wanted to try it on.  It loved all the attention.  You know, ladies, that thing hasn't been washed yet.  I'm just saying."

T - ummm, okay - we'll give that one to the Cozy - just out of principle...   (ewwww)

Actual Wearability:

T - I zip up the front, snap a few snaps and my formerly flat cozy becomes a robe - if that's not cool what is?  It even snaps around my ankles just in case I need to step over a puddle or two - no dragging in the water.  As a bonus - I never feel like I'm wearing a Hospital Gown because it has a BACK!  There's even INSTRUCTIONs just in case you can't figure it out!

KP - "The Snuggie is completely awesome and amazing! ... And by awesome and amazing, I mean completely ridiculous.  Seriously, it doesn't stay up!  There's no Velcro in the back!"

T - another point for the Cozy, boo-yah!

Versatility:

T - didn't I already mention that the heat factor is versatile?  And the fact that it can be a blanket, a throw (what does that mean anyway - it said it on the box), or a robe... very cool, very versatile...

KP - "Oh, Snuggie.  I am so disappointed in you.  I don't think my dream of teaching anger management in you will be possible."

The Onceler - "A Thneed's a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!  It's a shirt.  It's a sock.  It's a glove.  It's a hat.  But it has OTHER uses.  Yes, far beyond that.  You can use it for carpets.  For pillows!  For sheets!  Or Curtains! Or Covers for bicycle seats!"

T - Okay, who invited the Onceler... and seriously - did he miss the day in class when they were talking about overuse of exclamation points...

Price Comparison:

T - yikes... ummm... I bought one for a friend getting married...  at 50% off it was just $25... but worth EVERY penny!

KP - well... she didn't actually comment on the price - but she referred me to the official website, which has a video which advertises a price of 14.95 plus shipping and handling PLUS as an added bonus you'll receive a press and open book light.

The Onceler - "Just at that minute a chap came along, and he thought that the thneed I had knitted was great! He happily bought it for three ninety-eight.

T - okay, another round goes to the Thneed.  Crap!

Softness: 

T - oh... they don't make 'em softer - I could live in this thing... do you think they'd make pants out of this fabric for me?

KP - "I am completely naked under it."

The Onceler - "The touch of their tufts was much softer than silk, and they had the sweet smell of fresh butterfly milk!"

T - hey, Onceler - I don't think we asked for the smellability comments yet!  Whatever...

and KP, now I'm even MORE worried about the Snuggie's washability!

There you have it - everything you ever wanted to know about the Snuggie, the Cozy, and the Thneed.  It's up to you now which you put on your Christmas Wish-list...

and if you find a dealer for the Thneeds... just remember that they're not very environmentally conscious over there... Just saying... save the Truffula trees!

P.S. - I REALLY did take all of KP's quotes directly from her many posts about the Snuggie (I even got  her permission to use them!)- she's one of those girls that watches a lot of informercials... she's got the Bump-It AND the Sham-WOW...  but does she have a Magic Bullet or those cool knives that cut tomatoes so thin you can read through them... because I do! 

it's a little Chili's out there

Today I wake up EXCITED because I am going out to lunch with Shelle, April, and Pat - and I happen to mention this event to M.O.T.H. because well, you know, he's the Man of the House and all and probably deserves to know what I do with my days when I'm not piled under a ton of laundry...  Then he asks me the question... "are these internet friends..."

Hey - it's not like we met on Match.com or Stalkersoftheworldunite.com...  I KNOW these people... sorta.

No more complaints - I know them now!  I've thrown food at them now (well, just Shelle) and no matter what ANYONE else says it was the waitress that knocked Shelle's fork on the floor.  I would ask Pat to back me up on that, but I think she probably feels some loyalty to April for picking up the check and because they went to Wicked together... as a matter of fact these gals are all huge Wicked Fans... I was the only Wicked Virgin at the table... but that's okay - someday I'll be sitting there and basking in the glory too...  and THEN I'll invite you all out to lunch again to discuss!

I was the second to arrive and when I walked in I saw Pat... but wasn't sure it was her...  I asked, and she was nice enough to make this face for me

yep, no doubt about it, that's her!

We didn't wait for Shelle and April before digging into our order of bottomless chips and salsa.  Saying "bottomless" to me is like putting a big neon flashing 50% off sign over a pair of cute shoes... yep, I'm gonna buy 'em.  Give me a week though and my jeans will prove that the word "bottomless" only refers to the serving size and not what it does to my figure.

M.O.T.H. was pretty sure we'd have nothing to talk about... but boy was he wrong - what a man :)

Seriously though - it was the waitress that knocked the fork on the floor - the top bun to my guiltless grilled chicken sandwich had the same fate...  but she was nice enough to snap pictures of the 4 of us together so we'll forgive her!  And because I posted about it FIRST that must mean it's all true...

ack, in all this hurry to be first my daughter is almost done with preschool - outta here!

Phone Etiquette

I know, I know... I'm not exactly the etiquette guru... but I have to wonder...

with the popularity of cell phones, how private are YOU about your conversations?

Case in Point:  

Setting - the bleachers at my sons' baseball game.

Characters - Me & Elderly Cell Phone Lady (ECPL)

I'm casually sitting there on the bleachers rooting for M.O.T.H. to show up and sit behind me so that I can lean back on his knees...  hopefully relieving some of the symptoms of chronic bleacher butt.    Instead ECPL shows up and sits behind me.  I don't know her, I don't think her knees are up to it... so I scoot over just a titch because M.O.T.H. has now shown up and knows my plan.  This puts us in close proximity to ECPL on my left and the nice mom on my right who was honest enough to tell me that Yes, my sweaty jeans DID look like I wet my pants.

Well, now ECPL pulls out her fancier than I've ever seen a senior use cell phone and proceeds to scroll through her contacts to call someone.

Her phone call lasted for the next 40 minutes of the game.  No kidding.  She was loud to boot.  

I really tried to block out her phone call - but just like M.O.T.H. has trouble focusing on multiple conversations at once I have a real problem - I CAN'T ignore things...  especially when phrases like "I lost all respect for him", "She made her bed", and "completely degraded himself" are being thrown around like parade candy.

Then suddenly - it hits me.  No, not the candy - the realization that I KNOW these people that she's talking about!

okay, so we all know them, sort of...

She's discussing the last episode of "The Biggest Loser"...

I laughed out loud... REALLY loud - 

had to come up with a reason I was suddenly cracking up...  

This would have been much juicier if she'd been talking about my neighbors...  but I was glad to find out that she wasn't gossiping that loudly about her own family :)

Just Desserts... and yes, I've gotten all the stalking out of my system now.

no-one's getting their come-uppance, it's not that kind of "just desserts" - I'm just letting you know what's for dinner today.  After M.O.T.H.'s birthday I looked in the refrigerator...  2/3 of a german chocolate cake (courtesy of the people he works with), 4 servings of dutch oven apple dumpling cobbler (courtesy of our cook-out), and 1/2 of a Strawberry/Blueberry Cream Cake confection to die for... courtesy of me... or CostCo, however you want to put it...  M.O.T.H. does me a favor and requests cakes and pies that are pre-made for his birthday.  Once upon a time this might have offended me... "what, you don't LIKE my cakes?" but now I am more realistic... "$14 at CostCo - I couldn't have made it that cheap!"

Speaking of CostCo - here's a little ethical dilemma for you... when is stalking acceptable?  I had just enough time to get home to drop off the groceries before picking up my son and neighbor from their intermediate school - but when I turned the corner I had to swerve around a piece of someone's barbecue grill there in the road...  after recovering my sanity I saw that about 1/2 a block ahead of me there was a truck... with a barbecue grill in the back.  Gotta be his right?  So I debate (quickly) my options:  1-stop and pick it up and hope he turns around... and hope that I don't get myself killed by someone ELSE turning right...  2-forget it and get my cream pie home 3-follow him like a stalker to his house...  hoping that he doesn't live too far away.

I've always wanted to be a stalker...  but you know what?  It wasn't that much fun...  Of course, it's hard to stay hidden when you're driving a BIG BLACK SUV...   He appreciated the info - and I let him worry about not getting killed by right turners.  I'm just glad that he didn't live too far away!

Okay, who remembers this... Lily Tomlin in her heyday as Edith Ann...  I think I remember... but as  you can tell it's in black and white and I've tried to block out that part of my memory... because I'm FAR too young... right?  Hey, just go with it...

I DO remember that M.O.T.H. says this is the most annoying TV character EVER...

Of course, now I have to tell you why Edith Ann is popping into my head...

I took M.O.T.H. out to lunch for his Birthday - went to Red Lobster, fully expecting a nice quiet experience...  and it was fine really.  Two other patrons had their birthdays - or maybe they just really wanted the free birthday brownie?  M.O.T.H. isn't into public humiliation so we kept our secret to ourselves!

The only problem - As soon as I sit down I realize that the bench cushion has seen better days.  Not wanting to make a big deal and knowing that we had very little time before M.O.T.H.'s next appointment - I tucked a leg under me and tried to sit up tall.  Of course, I had to switch legs a few times as my circulation was lacking...  I TRIED to just sit and eat, but my knees were higher than my butt...  and I start the day at 4'11" - when I sit in a hole to eat that puts the table level with my neck.  Great for shoveling it in, but bad for conversation.

I DID let the waitress know as we left - she was apologetic but I know she was secretly amused at the thought of me looking like Edith Ann.  Oh well, we had our revenge - M.O.T.H. accidentally stole her pen** when signing the credit card receipt :)

and YES it does count that I took him out for his birthday even though he paid....  it's the thought that counts!

**if the waitress happens to be reading this - leave your comment and I'll make him drop it by!

Happy Irthday (and a little M.O.T.H. tribute)

I realize that with all my speaking of butterflies and moths lately that some of you may be confused - you see - M.O.T.H. is my Man Of The House...  also occasionally referred to as Hubs, Q, the MAN, and when I'm in a particular crabby mood he might be The Creep...  so in case you've been worried that my house is infested with dusty little flying things - worry no longer!

And today - in addition to being Earth Day - is M.O.T.H.'s Irthday - that's right, just for today we drop the B when we sing the song...  

and today - to make up for the fact that he has gone off to work with no presents (except maybe a steamy kiss) I am telling you all that he's a pretty awesome guy.  

We have a good relationship:  I love him more than Blogging and Scrapbooking - He loves me more than Mountain Biking and Camping...  This works out nicely when we are together because I'm not trying to crop a picture and coin a witty phrase while he "insert cool biking phrase here" in his sub-zero sleeping bag.  This also works nicely for when we can't be together because we both have hobbies that keep us busy!

He is a good provider:  We may not have the nicest house in town, we may not even live in the nicest area (seriously, my ex-neighbor is currently serving a life sentence) but after many years of apartment hopping in 4 different states - we are settled!  Settled is such a nice word isn't it?

He encourages me to be a better person:  in so many ways...  I even eat tomatoes now :)

He's not the MOST outgoing person I know - but always willing to dress up for Halloween (yes, that's his costume in the picture... you don't have to worry about M.O.T.H. joining the former neighbor)

He's a great Dad - I love that he reads books to M at night.  I'm only a tiny bit jealous that she thinks his character voices are superior to my own... I mean his Pooh Bear voice is good and all, but HELLO, I'm the one who actually took a class in college where we spent the entire semester reading kids' books out loud.  I do a MEAN rendition of "The Lorax", trust me!

Oh yeah - this isn't about me - it's about M.O.T.H. - hmmmm... what else...  

no seriously - he's a super husband, super dad, I'm pretty sure his parents think he's an alright kid as well.  He appears to be an okay friend since he still hangs out with the guy he hung out with in high school... and only occasionally does this drive me batty.  

Happy Irthday Man Of The House!  now I'm off to the store to get all that stuff you wanted :)

seriously though:  you REALLY want shake and bake for dinner?  I didn't know they even still sold that stuff!

speaking of caterpillars...

no, they haven't hatched yet - but they get checked on multiple times per day...

that's not our news - this is... well, a little Eeewier 

Yesterday we  had a little cookout at a local campground to celebrate M.O.T.H.'s birthday - it's a tradition...  I pack up all the food, we drive up there.  He cooks all the food and makes his own dutch oven dessert and everyone eats.  We pack the leftovers back into the car and we come home.  Sometime the next day I get around to finishing the unpacking...  sometime.  

To keep myself entertained on the trip up I packed a book (or two) even though it's a quick drive.  I didn't read too much - but today I wanted my book and I went to grab it from the bag.  

There was a hitch-hiker.

I'm not sure it was THIS very caterpillar - but they were closely related... you can tell because they have the same eyebrows.

The campground was a veritable goldmine of all things outdoorsy and natural.  The table we were doing food prep on had to be brushed clean of caterpillars so that we didn't squish them with the cutting board... but on close inspection we realized that the entire underside of the table was covered in cocoons.  All of them are the uglier silky white cocoons that we have in our little butterfly treehouse - which makes me wonder if maybe it should be re-named the Moth treehouse?

Shhh... don't tell the girl, she won't know the difference (hairy antennae vs. smooth antennae) and she'll still call them silly frilly names like "pretty pretty" "pretty face" and "pretty" (yes, that's what she named the caterpillars before they spun their cocoons).

I was only slightly freaked when I found the hitch-hiker about to crawl onto my pillow - but I calmed down long enough to get M to get it outside for me :)  Hey, I don't always rely on my youngest daughter to get bugs for me... but the boys weren't home!

The age of Aquarius...

Because I put SO MUCH stock in my horoscope I read them faithfully... you know, like at LEAST once a year... usually on my birthday - in the evening... for a good laugh.

We started taking the paper again as of Thursday - I'd tell a big long boring story about how the post office shredded a pile of our letters recently and how although it was totally their fault the letter they sent was very generous in sharing that blame...  but, well - this post is bound to be novelistic anyway so that's all you need to know about THAT!

Today I was taking out the recycling - and just for fun decided to see how far off Jacqueline Bigar was this week:

Thursday:  (a 3-star day) "Clearly you need to gather more facts.  Listen to what you are hearing from a key partner.  Understand what is happening and decide where you can make a difference.  Tonight:  Take some much needed private time.

Ooooh SO Close!  I spent most of Thursday gathering piles of laundry and other assorted "things" from around my house so that I could pretend to be one of those "immaculate housekeepers" at my pampered chef party...  where I "gathered" friends...    By evening... well, let's just eliminate the private time element all together because once I shooed out the P.C. guests my house was welcoming my b.i.l./s.i.l. and their 6 children for a visit.  If I'd KNOWN I was supposed to have private time I might have been annoyed, but since I neglected to read my horoscope until now I just enjoyed the late night chat :)

Friday: (a 4-star day) "Don't plan on acting until you get more information.  Your perspective could be off, as you will discover in the a.m.  Later today, you walk on steady ground, knowing what you want and how to handle it.  Tonight:  Whatever puts a smile on your face."

HA!  Jacqueline Bigar was WAY off on this particular day - well, okay she started off okay because most of us did laze away the morning deciding what to do...  but I don't think my perspective was off...  I think it was just resting.  The "walk on steady ground" and "how to handle it" should be making anybody laugh - at least anybody who was here and witnessed my mincing steps through the great bathroom flood of '09 - or those who were close enough to hear my woes of despair as I threw towel after towel onto the floor with nary a clue of what else to attempt.  It did put a smile on my face that my B.I.L. came to the rescue and got my son to the ball field and my S.I.L. helped to clean the floor while I went to the basement to assess the ceiling damage.  well, okay - the smile didn't come that day but NOW I'm smiling about it :)

Saturday: (a 5 star day)  "You naturally make the right move.  Others seek you out, but a key friend or partner could feel left out.  Be sensitive to this person.  Tonight: Learn to mix both.

well, I might have been making some right moves - unfortunately my niece was making the wrong ones (only a 4 star day for her) and managed to remove a chunk of her toe while getting into the car to head home...  ouch - and ugly...  no pictures (you'll thank me later) but the evidence is still there in little spatters leading from the curb to the front door - luckily she was the only one to become queasy at the sight of blood.  Besides, after the potty-water of the day before, a little blood was no big deal!  

*Others Seeking me out?  the phone rang a b'zillion times, but it was always for M.O.T.H. (man of the house) since he was in charge of the Luau activity that evening.   I sincerely hope I wasn't leaving M.O.T.H. out of my life... we went on a hot date to the local CostCo to pick up paper plates and cups - isn't that enough togetherness?

Gotta give props to Ms. Bigar on the "Learn to mix both" though - because at the luau that evening I was introduced to a wonderful blend of plum/salt/licorice/sugar/glucose/aspartame/FD&C Yellow #5 and Red #40 (otherwise known as Li Hing Mui) that I was encouraged to sprinkle on my freshly cut pineapple.... A Low Hah and Lou Wow, that is some yummy stuff - I need to get myself a lifetime supply of this stuff.  Of course then I'd probably fit INTO my mu-mu...   Speaking of Mu-mus...  even if I don't know how to spell it, I know the one I had was a bit large on me (S.I.L. will back me on this one)...  being as it was gifted to me as a "maybe you can do something to make this work" when my mother found out we were planning a Luau.

I hope she meant what she said when she mentioned that a few alterations were okay... because what used to be the puffy sleeves are now the cute little tops the girls are wearing and the dress itself was taken in by many inches and hemmed by even more inches than that...

back to Ms. Bigar...

Sunday:  (a 5 star day)  "Your personality draws many.  Share a flight of fancy or a long-term wish.  Others put in their two cents.  Somewhere along the way, you see a new path to a key objective.  Tonight:  What would you like to do?"

I'm afraid the only people drawn to me today were 5, 6 and 7 years old...  gotta love primary!

Flight of Fancy/ Long-term Wish to share?  Ummm, I'm thinking that when I grow up I'll become a librarian or an interior designer... or maybe a party planner...  or maybe I'll just admit that I've already grown up so much that this old dog can't learn any new tricks!

Two Cents?  go ahead guys - throw in all the two centses you want :)

New path to a key objective...  maybe that means that the bridge across the river (which turns a five minute drive to baseball practice into a 20 minute drive) will finally be put in this year... THAT would be blog-worthy!

Tonight...  I'll have to think about that one, because currently SLEEP is sounding really good!

Calapitters and Flutterbyes

okay - she doesn't say either of those words that cute anymore - but the M-girl IS having a super cute few days anyway!

Back at Christmastime we were the lucky recipients of a few "educational" toys - some aquasaurs (which I'm sure will be LOTS of fun eventually) and a Butterfly Treehouse.  The only problem with this second one is that you have to be awesome enough to actually send away for the larvae...  

have I ever mentioned that I'm REALLY bad about getting myself to the post office... it's more than 5 minutes away (7 actually) which means it's a "trip" and not just an errand...   Okay, it's really just because I hate long lines... really hate them!

So yesterday as we walked the kids to school we saw a number of caterpillars on the sidewalk...

on the way there I just advocated not squishing them, but on the way home with just me and the mighty M...  we got brave enough to grab a few to bring them home.

Karma intervened quickly since before I even got home I got a call from the school because H had forgotten something...  that was my payback for making her walk I think...

We stalled  just long enough to pop the caterpillars into this:

and then by the time we got home from school the caterpillars were hanging out at the top...

I warned M that she would have to be patient - this could take awhile right.  We might be baby-sitting caterpillars for a few weeks before we see changes!  So she talked to them, sang them songs, and even showed them some pictures in her story book.

and by the end of the day all 3 caterpillars were spinning cocoons...  what a good little mommy she is!

This morning - they're  no fun anymore...  all encased in their little cocoons they can't even see the pictures and she doesn't want to disturb their sleep with her songs...

apparently THIS is going to be the boring part...  how long do these puppies take to hatch anyway?

Peep Show...

If you didn't eat 10 peeps for breakfast like my dear son Po then you probably have some of those little buggers left over from the Holiday...

They're yummier stale anyway right... or frozen if you don't want to wait for them to go stale...

But just in case you have SO MANY that you just don't know what to do with them:

a little plumber-bum anyone?

Everyone's favorite TV family

Any Trekkies out there - it's "Trouble with Tribbles!"

I debated doing a Peeples choice award for y'all and having everyone submit some lovely Peep Shows of your own...  but the Washington Post beat me to it...  years ago actually...

They're impressive actually...  much more impressive than my idea of tossing a few yellow and orange peeps on the sand and calling it a nude beach.

but... if you REALLY want a scientific study of Peeps...  well, okay - maybe it's a little lacking in the science but it makes up for it in the hilarity - check THIS out!

Happy Easter

or Keaster... as the case may be...

ooh, that's twice in a row I've posted something I got in my inbox...  

Really, I'll be more creative (and less irreverent) next week.

Wish I knew who to give Credit to for this one...

I'm not much of an e-mail forwarder (ooh, look forwarder IS a word!).  I broke my rule today though - because THIS made me laugh... and sort of wish it were true... with slightly lower prices...

Does that make me bad?

Is it bad that I'm not even writing my own blog today?

If you know who wrote this originally - I'd love to give them credit... and a high five.  If you want to claim it for your own, I'll buy into it...

enjoy - I've gotta go finish some of those projects!  At least Science Fair is done!!!!

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Didn't get as much done as I'd hoped...

my infrequent blogging as of late can be totally blamed on my husband - maybe I'll write more about that elsewhere - but for THIS blog we'll just assume that I'm right and everything is all his fault okay?

Good, now that we're on the same page let me mention that all of my projects are about 80% complete... 

I'm 80% of the way done moving my scrapbook room.

I'm 80% of the way done with the new chair covers for the primary.

I'm 80% of the way done with the bookfair paperwork.

I'm 80% of the way done with writing this post.

I'm 80% of the way ready for M's birthday party and it's already over...  the other 20% is not going to happen I guess :)

Maybe tomorrow when I'm 90% done I'll post some fun pictures...  maybe :)

But for the record - ManOfTheHouse is 100% done with organizing his camping closet... thanks to all my help :)

Who me, a control freak?

I spent many years as a "boy mom" - it was easy...  no hair to do, no princess dress up cluttering the floor, no naked barbies...  I was IN my element!  

and then...  came the girls - suddenly I had little people who wanted to help me cook, help me scrapbook, and *GASP* help me decorate cakes...

I can deal with a little help in the kitchen - but it would be best if they confine themselves to helping by putting away silverware (in the RIGHT slots) and maybe washing the dishes...  I might even let them mix some batter or something - and I'm working on this.

Help with scrapbooks...  forget it, I just bought them their own and I'll give them the hideous photos (which are plentiful).

Help with decorating cakes?  Ummm... can I DO that?  I don't think so...  

But... it IS her birthday...

and I AM kinda busy...

"but I had such great PLANS for this my little pony cake - it was going to be Adorable with a capital A..."

But... it IS her birthday...

and she just wanted to decorate one little cake...

So happy birthday M - but just for the record - I AM going to make the party cake MY way...  because it won't be your special day anymore!!!

Confidential to Shelle:  I promise I will not let her help when it comes time for Peeps cake :)